Bridge at Cholmeley School:
BERTIE BELLIS'S MISTAKE

By David Bird

“That’s very bad luck,” observed the Matron. “We’re playing against Bertie Bellis on the first round.”

Madame Baguette sighed patiently. “We have to play him some time, Matron,” she replied. “What difference does it make which round it is?”

“I find it very dispiriting to start the evening with two complete bottoms,” continued the Matron. “If you get two bottoms on the last round, it’s not so bad.”

Madame Baguette had little sympathy with this view. Still, when it came to the subject of complete bottoms, the Matron spoke with some authority.

“Always nice to play against two attractive ladies,” said Bertie Bellis, taking his seat.

The Matron flushed slightly, patting her recently permed hair into shape. “We do our best,” she said.

This was the first board of the round:

Dealer: South. Love All
	A Q 8 2 K Q Q J 10 6 2 Q 9
5 10 6 3 2 8 5 3 A K J 8 2		9 7 6 3 A 8 5 4 4 10 6 4 3
	K J 10 4 J 9 7 A K 9 7 7 5

Bertie Bellis led K against the spade game, drawing the six and the five from the closed hands. He sat back in his chair, pondering his next move. The Matron surveyed him curiously. What on earth was Bertie thinking about. Surely it was obvious to cash another club.

As the seconds ticked by, the Matron’s hopes began to rise. What if he didn’t cash a second club? She would then be able to throw her other club loser on the diamonds! What a start to the evening it would be if she could conjure a top against an expert like Bertie.

At trick two Bertie Bellis switched to a diamond. The Matron sucked in her cheeks triumphantly. She won with the ace and started to draw trumps. When West showed out on the second round, she paused to consider the consequences of this. If she drew all the trumps, followed by the remaining diamonds, she would not be able to score a heart trick. The club suit would be bare when she knocked out A. It seemed she would have to play on hearts now, before drawing the last two trumps. It was very annoying because the defenders would then have another chance to claim their second club trick.

When Matron played a heart to the king, Percy Cutforth won with the ace and returned a club. A diamond ruff then defeated the game.

Madame Baguette’s mouth dropped. “You thought you had drawn all the trumps?” she exclaimed.

“No, but it was very awkward,” the Matron replied. “I dare say I could have played it more cleverly but they made it very difficult for me.”

Percy Cutforth leaned forward. “There was nothing the Matron could do,” he said. “It was a brilliant switch from Bertie. If he cashes the other club at trick two, there’s no entry to his hand for the diamond ruff. How on earth did you read the cards, Bertie?”

“It wasn’t too difficult,” the Maths master replied. “When the six and the five appeared on the first round of clubs, I was fairly sure you were signalling your count from 10-6-4-3, rather than a doubleton. That left the Matron with a 4-3-4-2 shape. She couldn’t have a 4-4-3-2 shape, of course, because her Stayman response had denied four hearts.”

Percy Cutforth nodded admiringly. The defence had seemed totally brilliant at the time. Like most good bridge, it was merely the result of observation and cold logic.

With a resigned air the Matron inscribed the bottom on her scorecard. Such is life, she thought. The one and only time Bertie Bellis makes a mistake against her, the trumps happen to break poorly and he ends with a top anyway! Some people . . . well, they’re just born lucky.